In the Spirit of New Beginnings: A Few Words of Advice

Recently I was delighted to help launch a new Women’s Employee Resource Group (ERG) at Boston Children’s Hospital. It happened to occur within a few days of a second momentous occasion for me personally—the graduation of our oldest child from college. We refer to our graduation ceremonies as commencements, because, in fact, they are about new beginnings. Something about beginnings seems to inspire speakers to give advice. I’m no different. I thought I would help launch of this new employee resource group with a few of my own life lessons with the hope that they might offer some ideas for how women, and champions of women, can make the most of this new resource at BCH:

(1) Know Thyself

It really helps to know your own strengths and weaknesses. In one of the career development workshops we hosted for junior faculty and administrators when I was Chief Scientific Officer at NYU, we offered people the chance to complete personality tests like Myers-Briggs or conflict styles or StrengthsFinder tests. And if you really want to know yourself, ask others for input, like a “360” (where colleagues, direct reports, and bosses evaluate your strengths and your opportunities for growth), and then be ready to hear the praise and criticisms.

Understanding your personality type means you can try to grow and extend beyond your natural tendencies. For example, despite being an introvert, I took on roles that required frequent public speaking, cocktail parties, and even after-dinner talks. As a colleague put it—you just have to reserve some time after these events to go into your “she-cave.”

People can grow—I really believe that— but under stress, it’s easy to revert. The best protection comes from the people you work alongside. For example, I have been guided by some amazing people, who more than once, offered invaluable advice. “Consider dropping this person a note” or “Have a quiet check-in with that person and hear out their concerns.” Surrounding yourself with people who have superpowers where you have blindspots.

(2) Believe in Yourself and Support Others

It’s so vital to have confidence in yourself—and even easier if you have trusted colleagues who will keep you out of trouble. In a New York Times Corner Office interview I told the story of how I was once counseled not to consult with others so much in my decision making process—“you should tell them what to do, not ask them!” Of course I disagreed. My consultative approach was who I was.

Just as important as believing in yourself is to remember to support others. Think about how you can create a nurturing and open environment for everyone to flourish. It’s tough to lead, so help others be successful. A few years ago a group of women leaders (Women of Impact) pooled our collective experiences and wrote about best practices we had observed for creating a supportive, inclusive environment. It’s still one of my favorite publications (and here’s a handy infographic courtesy of Della Lin, MD).

(3) Keep Growing Together

As someone with deep academic roots, I’m biased towards lifelong learning. For me, that includes reading (libraries are the best) and listening to podcasts. Topics that really helped me grow include: women in the workplace, communications, negotiations, time management, motivating others (very handy with the kids too), leadership (mostly through countless great biographies), managing as an introvert, and lots of great science and climate change books. I’ll highlight some of my favorite recent reads/listens in a posting soon.

Whether in an ERG or outside of work, think about the topics you’d like to learn more about, the skills you’d like to grow. In a previous role, we created monthly gatherings that included sessions like how to be a great mentee, speed mentoring, and negotiations.

What’s even better than growing is growing together.